Something New From California

I got out of the shower this morning and looked outside to see snow falling. According to my iPhone it was 41 degrees so it made no sense. “It could be that dew point thing,” I thought, or maybe some other term weathercasters now use that serve only to confuse and confound. Not wanting to put all my faith in the phone I next glanced at my solar-powered watch, which confirmed that it was in fact April the 22nd. Days, months and years sometimes lose all meaning in this age of Covid.

My head was filled with thoughts of climate change as I turned on the tv to watch a report from NBC about the “megadrought” in California, and how the state is turning sewage into drinking water because there are too many people and too little water. That was the state of things when we left California five years ago. Now, the drought, which had become a way of life when we were still there, has apparently turned into a “megadrought.” Oh my. Another new word from the people who gave us “Carmageddon” when they shut down the 405 Freeway. At the same time, Cali now has the lowest Conronavirus case rate in the continental U.S. Maybe it’s the water?

Nobody here in the east has any idea with regard to what’s happening way out west. As far as they’re concerned, Los Angeles is on Mars, so let them drink sewage?

We’ve got plenty of water here in Maryland. A whole big, beautiful bay-full, so drought is one of the things I no longer worry about. Californians might be envious, except for the fact that they probably know less about the Chesapeake Bay than easterners know about the San Fernando Valley. Too bad we aren’t better informed about one another, being citizens of the same country and all.

For the record, the Chesapeake, is the largest estuary in the United States. Not only do many Americans have no idea where it is, many or most probably haven’t a clue as to what it is. Hint: It is not a gynecological condition. And the San Fernando Valley, or just “The Valley,” as Angelenos call it, has a bigger population than the City of Philadelphia. So it too, is definitely noteworthy.

I’m now driving over to the hospital to get my second Covid shot, while wondering how the California PR machine will turn all that new Hollywood poo-water into something acceptable to the masses. Something they might export to unsuspecting consumers back east and maybe even to China. It might help with the trade imbalance and in doing so it would serve the Chinese right, considering some of the crap they’ve been exporting to us for the past forty years and all the tyrannical nonsense they are currently pulling in Hong Kong.

The magical reclaimed waters of California. Imagine the source. Some of the finest celebrity commodes and showers in Malibu, Beverly Hills, Brentwood and Bel Air. Available soon at better retailers everywhere.

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