Seinfeld And Me

Interesting day so far here in the Mid-Atlantic. First came the vultures.

Our friend Sue notified my wife that several vultures had congregated near the trash she had left out for pickup in her front yard, and she wasn’t sure what, if anything, she should do about it. This was new for me. I had no idea what, if anything, to say about it, but I can see where vultures hanging around the house, particularly in the front yard where they would be the first thing you see when you look out the window, could be a real drag. Particularly for those of us in our 70’s and 80’s. I just put a new roof on the house and it’s a chilling thought that the roof will probably outlast me. So there was that. Until receiving news of the great DC housefire.

A friend, who lives down near the district, was about to jump in the shower when there was a banging at his door. It was a neighbor lady from across the street, frantic with news that there was smoke coming from the house next door and that the elderly man who lived there, wasn’t home. My friend, we’ll call him Fred, took it to heart. He threw on a robe, went outside and saw white smoke pouring out of the chimney of the house next door – which, according to the neighbor lady, was empty.

Fearing the worst, my buddy Fred grabbed his 100 foot garden hose and directed water at the top of the chimney while yelling at the neighbor lady to “Dial 9-1-1! Call the fire department!” Which she did. They also tried knocking on the door, but nobody answered, adding to fears that the house was unoccupied. I should add, just to be fair, that it isn’t all that common to see smoke pouring out of a chimney in July when temperatures are in the 80’s.

The fire department got there pretty fast according to Fred, as their firehouse is located less than 200 yards from the “incident.” The firemen arrived and started banging on the door and this time someone answered. The old man who lives in the house told everybody to calm down. He had been in the basement he said, where he couldn’t hear the knocking. As for the fire, he needed to get rid of some old papers, he explained, so he was burning them in the fireplace, causing smoke, which in the words of my buddy Fred, “Looked like the fire at the Vatican when they’ve got a new Pope!” Which is why he was standing there in his bathrobe pouring water on the chimney.

Interesting day here in the Mid-Atlantic. Wondering what’s coming next. Maybe Kramer and Elaine will drop by for lunch.

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