For years the Transportation Security Administration, better known as the “TSA,” has, by appearances at least, been doing everything they possibly can to increase airline security by devising a system whereby their employees will be able to provide said same security without the necessity of doing any thinking whatsoever. Possibly because not everybody working for the TSA is qualified to ferret out international terrorists, who are, probably at this very moment, trying to think up new ways to smuggle weapons and (or) explosives on our planes.
And now some genius at the TSA (or perhaps a committee of big thinkers) has decided to let passengers once again carry knives on airliners. When I first heard it I worried that I might have to go in to have my meds adjusted. Or maybe I had been over exposed to X-Rays while being repeatedly body scanned at the airport. Maybe the TSA had destroyed my brain. But then I heard it again and read it in the paper and knew it was true.
They say they are letting the knives pass through the system so that their inspectors will be able to focus on looking for explosives. I guess knives AND explosives are just way too much for them to handle, so something had to give.
At times like this I feel a need to take stock. After years of being questioned, patted down, having our cell phones, laptops and carry-ons filled with underwear and other unmentionables examined inch by inch and thread by thread by strangers in uniforms while other strangers with no uniforms watched while waiting in long lines like cattle at a stockyard, after being viewed in the nude with our clothing still on and being basically demoralized and humiliated for the sake of security after religious zealots with box cutters - I repeat, box cutters - hijacked planes, the TSA is now going to go back to letting passengers take knives on commercial flights. Knives. You know, knives. Probably one of the earliest weapons known to man, preceded only by the basic club.
Please understand. I’ve been going through all this ramped up security along with everybody else, even though I have in the past been officially cleared by the Secret Service to cover presidential politics. Even though my fingerprints and palm-prints are on file with the LAPD, the Los Angeles Co. Sheriff’s Department and the State of California. I never complained about any of it because the world has changed and I can understand the need to make certain sacrifices for safety. Particularly when underwear bombers and other assorted nutjobs are doing all they can to sneak box cutters, shoe bombs and God knows what on our flights.
And the TSA has decided to once again allow passengers weaponized with knives to fly? Do they understand that when you get past the semantics that box cutters are just another type of knife?
I’ve got a better idea. Archie Bunker, came up with it years ago. Just pass out pistols to passengers when they get on the planes and then collect them again at the end of the flights. It makes as much sense as to again allow knives, even small ones, on airliners.