Well, a couple of movies, actually. I’ll get to the bad joke in a minute. First let’s do “Toy Story 3.”
I don’t normally see kid flicks, but this one was recommended to me by an adult. A sane, intelligent, fully functioning adult. We were talking at a party and she did such a selling job on this film, saying “It’s a fantastic film for adults too!” “You’ll absolutely love it!” So I went. I sat through the whole thing. It’s a great movie for kids age 5 through….maybe….12. Rotten Tomatoes gives it a rating of 99% “fresh.” Yes! 99%! That was another reason I wanted to see it. I think it’s just a really good kid flick. For little kids only. And adults who collect stuffed animals. For themselves. And name each and every one.
Then came the super-hyped “Inception” with Leo DiCaprio. I love good science fiction. Something with a story that grabs you and never lets go. Edge of the seat stuff with writing that comes from out of nowhere and smacks you in the head. Films with a subtlety that carries the ability to surprise and even shock. This, sadly, has none of that.
It has ear-splitting, gut-shaking audio and a plot that reminded me of one of the latter episodes of “Lost.” Remember “Lost?” When it hit a point where the writers were so lost that there was nothing resembling a story left to even try and follow? Remember that feeling of being played by a sucker by a group of stoned-out writers? Well, that’s what I felt like I had been sucked into with “Inception.” You don’t know if you are watching a dream or a dream within a dream wrapped in a riddle. You don’t don’t really know what the hell’s going on, except that it’s loud and the graphical engineering is impressive. Painful loudness and great graphics do not constitute entertainment. This movie sent me screaming for the exits after only 45 minutes. I was the third person to leave the theater.
You may condemn me for passing judgment without sitting through the entire film, but after more than 30 minutes of such horribly confused and tangled writing and deafening sound with no plot in sight, I was certain that from its inception this was nothing but a huge bore. Nevertheless, the critics on “Tomatoes” give this one a rating of 87% “fresh.” I’ve gotta think that somewhere the guys who wrote the screenplay are sitting around counting their money and having a good laugh. 87% “fresh?” Some of the critics must be going along with the crowd out of fear of being ridiculed for losing their chops for reviewing contemporary films. Fear of being scorned by your peers can be a tremendous motivator. Or maybe there are so many of us spaced out on anti-depressants these days that none of it really matters.