-The phrases "the white stuff," "the wet stuff" and all other "stuff" shall never again be used by anybody, anywhere, at any time, with no apology to the Gong Show's literary contributions to American society.  An exception shall be made for "The Right Stuff" as that is a legitimate book title.

-No journalist shall ever again refer to a fire as a "blaze."  Nor shall a fireplace be called a "blaze place" or a firefighter a "blaze fighter" or a fire station a "blaze station."

-No journalist shall ever again refer to an accident victim as being "transported" to a hospital.   You don't "transport" someone to the hospital, you TAKE them there.  This is cop-speak.  Get over it.   Regular folks (your viewers and listeners) don't talk like this.  They don't work for the police or fire departments.  And you , ah, want your viewers and listeners to RELATE to what you are saying, right?  Duh........

-No weather reporter shall ever again refer to a snowfall as a "snow shower."  There is such a thing as a "snowfall" or a "dusting of snow" or "moderate snowfall" (commonly called a "snow flurry" or "snow flurries") or "heavy snow" or a "blizzard" or even a "whiteout."  I grew up in Minnesota where farmers had to string a rope from the house to the barn so they wouldn't get lost in the blinding snow when a blizzard blew in.   I never heard of a "whiteout" until I moved to California--but I'll concede "whiteout."  These people are desperate for drama and I've gotta give them something.  However, snow does not "shower" damn it.  It falls or it flurries!  A "shower" refers to rain.  Look in your dictionary.  If you have one.  The preferred use of "shower" refers to rain and NOT snow.   If you don't have a dictionary, get one.  

-No person desiring to be a broadcast journalist, shall be admitted to a top ten market without first spending at least two years in a small market followed by another five in a medium sized market where they will learn never to write about "stuff" or a "blaze."   Minimum pay requirements shall be established for broadcast outlets in all markets below the top ten so that people can get into the broadcast news business without living in a box and eating cat food.  Dan Rather and Roger Mudd shall be called upon to determine the scale for minimum pay.  

-Consultancy shall be outlawed in television news.

-Excitability shall be banned in all newsrooms except for the 50 smallest markets.  Violators shall be sentenced to a vacation in the Caribbean with Richard Simmons.

-Experienced journalists shall be allowed to teach less experienced journalists the craft without fear of a civil suit.

-Congress shall enact a law forbidding the use of cliché's, both in print and over the air.  Violators shall be sentenced to  watching non-stop daytime talk.

-No producer shall be permitted to watch the competition prior to a broadcast.  He or she will have to figure it out on their own.  That's what producers are supposed to do.  

-Existing mainstream newspaper publishers shall be given a 3 year exemption from federal, state and city taxes.  The 3 year period will be followed by ongoing tax credits from both federal and state governments to keep journalism alive in America.   The Annenberg School at USC or Harvard's Kennedy School,  or both,  can come up with a formula to determine eligibility and application of the ongoing tax breaks.  Why not?  The big papers are at least as important as the politicians in D.C. and the greedheads on Wall Street who got us into this mess.   Besides, financial advisers and politicians are easily replaced.  When a great newspaper dies it's gone forever, and a piece of America dies with it.  

-Redundancy shall be outlawed by statute as being generally redundant in nature.  Under the new law (which shall be placed there by officially sanctioned legislation and ordinance with bills passed by a duly elected body of official persons)  violators shall be forced to light the same match twice.

-No broadcast journalist shall refer to people as "persons."  Any person doing this will never again be allowed to use the word "people" when referring to persons.

-Any journalist who rewrites a press release without adding original content shall be tied to the bumper of a sport utility vehicle and dragged through Joshua Tree National Park.

-No crying in the newsroom without prior approval and a consensus that it's warranted.  Violators shall be sentenced to a confessional hour with Jimmy Swaggart.

-Cute shall be banned.  Violators shall be sentenced to dinner with Michele Bachmann.

-Trite shall be banned.  Violators shall be sentenced to going maverick, spending the  month of February shooting at wolves while driving sled dogs with that pretty winky lady from Alaska who ran for VP.   Or, you can go pheasant hunting with Dick Cheney.  Your choice.

-TV news shows will be required to do at least three shows a week with something other than a crime story leading the newscast.     There will be exceptions as flexibility is a necessity in every newsroom, but you get the idea.